12/1/2021
I dreamt that I was living with Leah again. The house in Toms River resembled my former home in north Jersey, except it was on the same plot of land in Toms River. My friend from Bloomfield lived to the northeast of the house, in the direction of my friend Elbie, and they had moved their stove outside to cook bacon. Most of the other homes were overgrown with ivy and weeds. Back inside, Leah was wearing cut-up cutoffs and a raggedy shirt then we had sex. Kept thinking, "This is a bad idea" during the act.
When I woke up I felt very good. A strange kind of good where I felt so happy yet on the verge of tears. Sad tears, not joyful ones. Fortunately the positive feeling lasted but I had Derek and the Dominos's Bellbottom Blues as an earworm. A few bars of the intro sounded like the Grateful Dead's Ripple and I had to listen to that afterwards. Bellbottom Blues did fuel my sadness a bit while Ripple was more neutral in mood. Just a pretty song.
The swelling in my right foot went down and the plantar fasciitis seems to have subsided on my arch, but another discomfort along the outside of my right foot made walking a chore. When I put on my underpants, shorts, socks, and shoes I had to sit down since I couldn't reliably balance on my right leg due to the pain. Even though I bought an immobilization boot for thirty bucks off Amazon, I reckon when it arrives on the 6th the pain will be long gone and I'll be walking normally. Rather than taking the potential future situation for granted, I'm going to wear the boot for a week and see if that helps promote complete healing of my tendon. It flares up every now and again and if correct healing can mitigate the occurences, then I'm winning.
Driving into work I cried a little about my life's situation. Halfway to work I started counting my blessings and the good things from 2021, above and beyond getting vaccinated vs. COVID-19. This helped since it gave me perspective that all is not lost. I just need to put myself out there.
In fact, I'm trying to get up the courage to implement the stuff from Stardew Valley in my life. Say hello to everyone so they gain 'hearts' and become friends rather than silent obstacles or adversaries. Yet I constantly think everyone hates me.
Tuesday was remarkably cool. In fact I wore my black woolen cap, then realized my Esperanto pins weren't on it.
Fuck.
Still wearing the hat kept my ears warm. As for the rest of me, I wore a black t-shirt and shorts and wasn't bothered much by the seasonably cold weather. Walking alongside the county courthouse under overcast skies undulating above me and through cold air, I felt like I was home and the world was embracing me once again. "This is your world. Welcome back."
Right now I'm on the fence about going up to Massachusetts to meet my friend Tim. There's the omicron variant making headlines, but the topic of money seems to be a bit of a trouble.
I mean, heck, I thought I should go into NYC but $34 for a round-trip ticket is exorbitant even though it's a deal compared to driving into the city, paying tolls, then highway robbery paying for parking. One person could easily spend $100 just for travel (includes hopping on a subway here and there) and a meal. And to think going to a movie theater is bad enough.
Anyway, it's a 5 hour drive (one-way) and there are tolls along the way. I'm on the fence and will probably chat with Tim later today.
