12/4/2021

Work has been easy post-Thanksgiving, and it appears this trend may continue since my manager told me to not schedule myself for the other county 'til further notice since there aren't enough jobs for two people in that county. Hopefully I'll be coasting through December, but is it the holiday doldrums or thanks to the headlines concerning the omicron variant of COVID-19?

Once I was done with my work in Ocean, I spent the remainder of the hour writing Christmas cards to my friends. When that was done, I headed over to Costco for an early, cheap, and totally-bad-for-me dinner. I wasted time on Instagram, a little bit on Twitter, then began writing the entry before you right now, gentle reader. It was 3:04 p.m. and sunset on Friday the 3rd is at 4:31 p.m., still lots of observant Lakewood, NJ types still out even though shabbos is due in fewer than ninety minutes. I figured they'd be hurrying home and Costco would be a ghost town, but whatever.

My plans to head up to Massachusetts to meet my friend fell through due to the specter of the omicron variant. Instead I'm going to be catsitting on my birthday all by myself.

Yesterday I promised I'd talk about something big that's in the works. Leah works for an online university and sometime next year she'll be an employee there for five years entitling her to some extra benefits. For example, free tuition for family. Before Thanksgiving Leah said I could finish my bachelors for free, but it'd mean delaying the divorce. I spoke with my therapist about this and she said it's basically my decision and she trusts my judgement.
Coming home from the county, my friend in LBI sent me a Snapchat of a little girl interacting with a friendly black lab. Very adorable.
Early Thursday evening I phoned my friend in Bloomfield to suggest we hit a diner and I tell all about the offer, along with my awkwardness and misgivings concerning it except Bloomfield is super-busy with their home business(es). Still Bloomfield heard me out and had some good advice, encouraging me to make the plunge.
Then I rang up my dealer, who also lives in Essex County, and they were down for hanging out. I spilled my beans and my dealer spilled their beans. We get along and we're good friends. We went to the Chit-Chat in West Orange, which my friend in Bloomfield likened its scene as "It's like Mackenzie Childs threw up in there". Mind you my dealer is totally on my team, much in the same way Leah's friend (who was in a May-December marriage) is a strident Leah supporter. My dealer was really annoyed at Leah, saying "Why didn't she offer this earlier to you?" I didn't say she withheld this from me nor did I correct her because it just felt good knowing someone was on my side for once. But I need to set the record straight since Leah did offer, but my lack of self-confidence and laziness sabotaged my attempts. For example, I went to my alma mater to speak with someone about credits needed to graduate and got nowhere so I gave up on the spot. On the bright side, my dealer is a very empathetic and compassionate person who would still be nice to Leah if they ever met. After dinner, we watched a bit of The Big Leap and it looks good for me to watch but I had to get home since it was a school night. Plus I got two free hits off their vapes. One was redolent of banana while the other smelled like Vicks Vap-O-Rub which I enjoyed greatly.

Driving home, my friend Sarah texted me out of the blue which made me happy. She's been quiet of late thanks to challenges popping up from buying a house back in July. She only just closed at the beginning of November. Needless to say, I was very happy I heard from and interacted with Very Important People in my life over those forty eight hours. They care for me.

Bloomfield, my dealer, and my therapist all agree they think Leah is probably feeling guilty. Bloomfield talked in terms of karma without explicitly citing karma, or am I misremembering? Same goes with my therapist. What my dealer and Bloomfield agreed upon, separately, is I need to take advantage of this for my own sake. It could mean more money and more opportunities, even if my bachelors is a Frankenstein's monster of a bland liberal arts degree.

I just hope this doesn't exonerate Leah because she's basically doing what my biological father did — Rather than address deeper issues and help with them, it's spending money or doing a thing. I am afraid Leah will throw it in my face and call me ungrateful.

stardew valley

Just when I think I'm getting burnt out on Stardew Valley, I fire it up the next day and that Oreo cookie laced with heroin hits just as hard as the first one. Driving down to Ocean County on Friday I caught myself talking out loud about what I wanna do in Stardew Valley, how I can't wait for spring so I can get back to farming. How I need to upgrade my equipment to copper then gold-tier equivalents. Not to mention the two fruit trees I planted mid-winter which will give me cherries in spring and oranges in summer.

Oh my goodness gracious, what have I gotten myself into?

ouch

My plantar fasciitis has amped up a bit. Probably since I didn't stretch my foot and the tendon at all on Thursday night. I can't wait for my immobilizer to arrive and wear that while I sleep. The pain is super distracting. Also I phoned my dentist and scheduled a cleaning for December 18th.

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