Whenever I wind up having to visit my former home, I think I slip back on any of the progress I've made since I've moved out. I am filled with self-doubt because Leah seems to be a better place. Also Leah is kind to me, kinder than I remember from recent memory, but I have no hopes when it comes to her.
On Wednesday night I stopped by to carve pumpkins, except she had to run out for two appointments and wasn't back 'til seven. I tried to nap on the big leather couch but no dice. I didn't want to turn on the television. Eventually my growing anxiety made me grab two pumpkins, head outside, then carve one so when she returned I'd only have to carve one more pumpkin and I could leave.


People who know me should know, or at least have an inkling, that I'm slow when it comes to social interactions. Look at my post about Edna and how I couldn't see beyond my reality bubble at any possibilities. Bloomfield asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving and it was only afterward I figured out that an invitation to Thanksgiving was being offered in a roundabout way. Tonight while waiting for Leah to return, I received a text from my friend who invited me to a Hallowe'en party in Keansburg. "I have two tabs of acid" to which I responded "okay good!!!" When I got home I realized my friend was suggesting we both do acid at the same time.
I think.


Either weed is making me very shallow, or I've been a bit preoccupied with work and other stuff. Potential reasons for not seeming to write a lot. I am hoping the latter, since the former is about being helped by the weed.

Valid xHTML Transitional!