4/15/2022

The printer for my job broke today. The paper jammed, I couldn't get it out, I closed the back panel then the paper wound around a roller making it unusable. I learned that I needed to replace the drum. I never knew printers had drums and supposedly they're supposed to be changed every 6-8 weeks? For those of you playing along at home, a drum is an adapter for smaller toner cartridges so they can fit inside a printer which was built for larger toner cartridges. I've had this printer for more than a year, no one ever told me this, and I'm annoyed by the situation.

Without showering, I phoned the county, they said I could come in and still have my afternoon appointment, knocked over the drum with the toner cartridge still in it and got toner on my floor, then went to Toms River to start work. I was running up and down stairs to get jobs done. The searcher who called me a scumbag, who I will call Scumbag, and was ejected from the courthouse was there talking with my dealer's friend who is also a title searcher. Let's call her Ms. Hector. Ms. Hector was talking about how she was teaching her dog to ring a bell in order to go outside. Scumbag said, "Oh, it's like the Rorschach test."
"It's Pavlovian conditioning." was my response.
Silence.
Fuck you, pinhead.

Nearly completed every job. I left around 3:40 p.m. because I had enough. I was sweaty and tired. Went to Costco for a cheap dinner out and took a shit there. Drove home but by the time I was on the main drag towards the beach I felt myself percolating. I got into the house, dropped everything in front of my door, and life went to hell. I started shitting myself something fierce and I ran to the toilet where I splattered everywhere. Some made it in. Minutes later I was in the shower and cleaning myself off. I got out, saw I had dripped poo on the bathroom floor, in the hallway, and in my room. My clothes from the waist down were wrecked, except my shoes and socks (thank goodness), and I set about cleaning up the horrorshow and took another shower.

For my next trick I brought everything downstairs to put in the washing machine, started a load and went back upstairs to clean up the rest of my mess. Turns out I left my fucking wallet in my shorts and it went through the washer. Fortunately I wash everything on cold since I wear darks so my wallet survived. A school photo of my blood nephew also survived. Leah's business card at her current job was ruined in the wash. I hope my cards are okay.

Cleaned my room and it wasn't that dirty to begin with, but I had to clean up spilled toner and poo and put aside laundry.

Three things went wrong today. I hoping those three things mean I'm in store for good news soon.