7/20/2022

Physical therapy went fine. I guess I'm in better shape than I anticipated, but I want to be careful and ensure I can get myself back in working order. My right foot feels less crampy which is a good thing. My left knee seems to be alright and I'm glad of that.

What I came away with regarding my physical therapy is Leah was most likely lying to me every time she said she was going to physical therapy. Especially when she said she'd be late coming home. Reckon I got lucky that one time when I met up with her at physical therapy.

It was sometime in January of 2019, I believed there was a measure of reconciliation going on between us but she was still attending physical therapy even though her ankle injury occurred on the Wednesday before Dorp passed away in July of 2017.
Also part of this timeline, in February of 2018 she used a scare tactic, one her mother denied participating in, that my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law was going to kick us to the curb if I didn't find work. September of 2018 was when I felt things were changing for the better between us.
Leah would frequently say "I'll be late tonight because I have physical therapy." I didn't pay attention because I trusted her. So much so, I blindly accepted her statements of "I don't lie to you." As it goes, I caught her in a few lies but I was forgiving of her.
This is about one of her first known lies to me and I'm certain there were many others. Growing up with a inveterate liar, my biological father, I believe I am trusting when someone says they're not lying to me because like Fox Mulder, "I want to believe."

I'm working at the retail maintenance outfit in Lakewood, I feel strange and while coming home that night I realize I'll be passing Leah's physical therapist's office. I make a detour and head there, find her doing physical therapy, she's happy to see me, I hang out while she's being tended to, and then we head across the street to Charlie Brown's for dinner together. Funny thing about Charlie Brown's in Brick, New Jersey is my astronomy club used to meet there. Also Leah's newest sister-in-law loves Charlie Brown's for some reason.
It's pleasant, I feel less discombobulated, and we head home. Back home Leah says she's going to Wal-Mart and wants to know if I need anything. "Nope." And she's off. Three hours later she comes back, she's in tears, she sits on the couch next to me and says her heart was broken. She didn''t go to Wal-Mart. Rather she went to see whomever she was seeing at the time. From what I gather they were upset that Leah put me first that night and they had enough of her and broke off their relationship.

She lied about going to Wal-Mart.

The second time Leah lied to me was when she told me she was going to the Stone Pony in Asbury Park to see the cover band Judas Priestess. I had some cash on me and hatched a plan to surprise her. One of the ways we were diametrically opposed was her love of live music and how live music makes me want to find a corner, stand there, and wait for it all to be over. I had cash and decided I was going to attend the concert, surprise her that I had new fortitude and maybe we could do things like this together. Maybe after a few tries I'd build up a thicker skin to such stimuli.
Twenty to thirty minutes after she left, I hopped in the car and headed up to Asbury, paid the cover, and hung out in the back. Live music still isn't my bag, but I could still hear the opening act from the rear of the building and I wasn't cringing.
An hour passes, I walk through the crowd in the main room and keep an eye out for her.
Nothing.
I walk around the block and look for her car.
Nothing.
Judas Priestess takes the stage. I'm standing in the audience and looking around, often looking at the main entrance to see if she's coming in.
For the rest of Judas Priestess's set I'm walking through the crowd and giving off my vibe of, "Move" as someone who's 6'2", 330 pounds, and covered with hair. I never see Leah nor do I catch her coming in.
Near the end of their set, I decide to head home and I book it. She's not home. I go to the guest room and fall asleep.

Sometime after that, probably the next day, I call Leah out on her lie. She twists it around on me, makes herself out to be the victim and I'm the creepy stalker.

That cut me deep. If you don't want people to know your business, why give details? I thought we were reconciling as well and I wanted to make a gesture for her that wasn't the middle finger. At the time, and in retrospect, the fact I caught her in a lie and she tried to turn it around on me like a gaslighter only underscored the fact she was truly caught in a lie.

The third lie was either before or after September of 2019. Maybe October of 2019? My memory is not clear. I was hanging out with Lisa, Luiz, and Irv in Keyport and Lisa confided in me that one time Leah tried to hit on Luiz at our house when I wasn't home. Lisa says Luiz turned her down and Luiz agreed. Leah denied it up and down and put the onus on the Wallings. Lisa also said Leah tried to put the moves on Irv too, but Irv says he turned her down as well.
That troubled me because when I ran a Changeling: The Lost campaign at our house sometime around 2015 there was a game night where Annie, Todd, Lisa, Alden, and Luiz were playing in the sun room while Leah and Irv watched Deep Throat in the living room.
On top of that, Lisa brought up how Leah confided in Lisa about Leah's extramarital escapades presumably before our falling out. When I did call her out on it, citing all the details from Lisa, Leah went on the offensive. "How come when you first heard this you didn't come to me?" and "Why do you trust them instead of me?" I was torn, especially considering what I said before about my biological father being an inveterate liar, and decided to side with Team Leah while feeling bad that I put her through that.

Only thing I gotta say is that the people who feel the need to insist they don't lie, better yet phrase it as 'I don't lie to you', are the biggest fucking liars in the world.

I was fooled once and shame on my biological father. Shame on him.

I was fooled again, this time by Leah, and shame on me.

Shame on me.