12/18/2023

The Zamenhof loomed over the Krink and Terran ships broadcasting out a bilingual message, "Zamenhof registry 1729-12. Attention beings this is a Kissinger-class embassy ship. At the first sign of any hostilities both of your ships will be destroyed. Prepare your entourages to board the Zamenhof for de-escalation."

The Krink called upon their most brightly colored, including Ka'ka'ka'kep whose magenta stripes were almost luminous.

Over on the Terran ship the skinniest nerd was sent alone on the shuttle. His presence was an insult and a threat. Krink respected strength and Melvin Manhattan's presence implied the Terrans would mop the system. Also Melvin, being a male, poured salt on the slug.

The problem between the Krink and Terrans is they were so similar in body, mind, and spirit. Each encountered what once were deemed horrors and befriended them, defanging their miens from nightmares. For those former horrors were not competition. Terrans and Krink saw only competition in their eyes.

Don't laugh, Terrans were mostly-hairless arboreal mammals who stand upright. No real defenses, no toxins, no fangs, no claws. Rather their minds and tools conveyed their capacity for war crimes. For nearly 700 of their years they were greatly feared.
Krink, on the other hand, were warm blooded anurans hailing from a red dwarf a mere 4 light years from Terra. They too were mostly harmless, much like Terrans, but they still had their toxic and hallucinogenic skin. The Coöperative still has no counter to Krink toxins and they have been extinct for one turn of the galaxy like Terrans.
As for the Zamenhof, it was on a diplomatic mission to reconcile warring species, colonies, and governing bodies. Only on the Zamenhof could one find Krink and Terrans working together. The ship was named for an ancient Terran as the Terrans were the youngest race aboard. Legend says Zamenhof promoted peace through language.

The Zamenhof's compliment was made of over twelve species in or neighboring the Coöperative. Each knew three languages besides their native species. No universal translators were aboard as they still missed nuance and meaning with language. Even at this time with the technology of 112 worlds consciousness eluded machines.

Ka'ka'ka'kep stood surrounded by a rainbow of Krink in the docking bay and spat in the direction of the sole Terran who merely made eye contact and hissed, "Cunts". Ki'kes went to asssult Melvin but exploded in a black mist.
Two announcements spoke over each other in two languages, "This is a diplomatic mission. Violence will not be tolerated."
A tall Kova and a Terran approached Melvin with a gleaming cylinder. The Kova whistled through their noodle and the Terran translated, "Open your mouth."
"Fuck you no." spat Melvin at the Kova then whistled "Traitor" at the Terran. Immediately Melvin found himself flat on his back, exlanginator shoved in his mouth, and the warm blade cutting out his tongue. The Terran threw the sad lump of meat towards Ki'ki'ki'kep and the Terran intoned, "Now it's even again. Speech is a privilege not a right here, brother."
"Brother" carried contempt, not connection, making Melvin gag with a mouth holding a bleeding stump.
"Regenerate your tongue before morning and we will take your balls and cock and cauterize the stump."
Ki'ki'ki'kep ate the tongue, nodded at the Kova and Terran before the Roombas busied.themselves cleaning up the smear of Ki'kes.
Harriet winked at the Kova who blinked three blue lenses back conspiratorially, "(This is going better than expected?)" e whistled before coughing out a rough "chew neigh" which made Harriet nearly wet herself laughing.

According to the dossier there was mention of a Krink sunship being found crumpled on an iceteroid in the Terran Oort cloud. It was dated before Terrans created mechanical timekeeping machines calling Terran sovereignty into question.
Terrans, on the other manipulator, cited "shenanigans" and they had a good argument to cast doubt on the sunship's provenance. To further diplomacy Harriet was assigned to represent the Krink. Her counterpart, Xi'keh, a male Krink would argue for Terra. Xi'keh was sharp but deep down she mistrusted the toad.
They'd worked together in the past, even became friendly, and one time licked his skin within his crechesanthemum, and for a moment nearly understood what it was like to be a Krink. Xi'keh also licked her, but the only insight he received was how tight a Terran could clamp her thighs around his head.

Xi'keh chimed to enter Melvin's quarters before entering anyway. Melvin stared at the toad with contempt. With a strong Swedish accent Xi'keh announced, "You may call me Chris. I am your, and your planet's, arbiter. You brought your cube for review?"
Melvin fought the urge to hurl it between Chris's golden eyes but handed it over. Never can trust a toad but now is not the time to turn adversaries into enemies, Melvin thought.

Harriet put on a dry suit with bright gold tiger stripes. It was carbon nanofiber and impermeable to Krink toxins, but the coloration also conveyed her position as arbiter for the Krink. Sometimes you had to play their game and Ki'ki'ki'kep was cordial at least. "You may call me Carla, monkay." she said with an ancient American accent. Harriet let the 'monkay' slide but pulled out her steamer. With a single click Harriet would release a sharp stream of steam as powerful as any slugthrower could fire. "(Cool it with the atavism references. I am Terran or human. Monkeys, like toads, belong in a zoo.)"

Carla stood taller in defiance. "You have your smartwater, Carla?"
Carla blinked her eyes deep into her skull before they popped back, a Krink gesture of assent, then passed the bulb to Harriet. "(I am going to fight for you against my own kind. You need to trust me.)" rattled Harriet as she took the bulb. "(This is my job. My depth counts upon my performance.)"
The Krink slumped forward hearing Harriet's command of Krink'bo, relaxing, and awaiting the argument to be made.

Delta shift arrived, Harriet and Xi'kes found themselves in the (clever name) lounge. "I believe both sides want war." "I'll bet my piss to your toxins they do, Chris."
"But five worlds want us to maintain order. That is why we are here. If we fail..."
"We won't. But if we do. If!" Harriet leaned forward, "I won't shut my eyes when the AMs annihilate all three of our ships."
"One last fucking?"
She shrugged, "Why not?"