2/23/2023

Today was a long day. Started at 6:30 a.m., went to work, left at 11 a.m. for my appointment with the urologist setting the stage for any further inquiry into my health, had lunch at Costco, worked the rest of the day, drove to Tom River, went into Seaside Heights with Leah for dinner at Klee's with my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law, then I went back to the house where I petted Sha-Sha and held Handsome Pete while Leah edited a bio for her mother. I was starting to get tired and my mood felt like it was on shaky ground so I excused myself and returned home.
Back home I told Leah I returned safely, drew three cards from my Stray Cat Tarot deck for my friend in Matawan about her application to be a nurse at a different institution, remembered I didn't post an old dream yesterday so I edited yesterday's entry to shoehorn it in.

an old dream from 2/23/2023

In light of the symbolism from my previous dream, I am reminded of an event from late January.

For weeks, I've been having trouble breathing at night. Figure my weight was to blame, and the only way to alleviate my stress was sacking out on the couch, propped up so my trachea didn't collapse on itself. For nights on end, I couldn't get a full, deep, cleansing breath.

One night was particularly bad, my snoring kept my wife awake (maybe this week is her revenge, after a fashion) and I was talking in my sleep. The next morning she told me at one point I was yelling "Alright, I'm up! I'm up!" Her recollection put me in the mind that I was talking to someone.

With my overactive, and ill-utilized, imagination, I figure that a spirit was telling my sleeping self I was nowhere near dying, and if I didn't rouse then they'd have a new roomie.

All this conjecture stems from reading consciousness research, the latest from the Rhine Institute, and near-death experiences. Deep down, I believe I'm making shit up to make my tiny life appear more interesting. On the other hand, I can't shake these feelings.

On the bright side, I've been in a good mood. A solid 6, or 7, out of ten. Here's hoping nothing breaks my stride.

a newish dream

I was wandering around a quiet neighborhood at night. The power was out or it was customary in the neighborhood to turn out nearly all the lights. To the best of my knowledge I was still at the shore and in my wanderings I found an unlocked door into a wooden tower. When I reached the top I found two girls rolling a joint, they looked up at me as if they were expecting me but I felt like I should leave. I descended again and stepped out onto the quiet streets. Reckon I found my car, got inside and attempted a K-turn only to wake up.

My first thought was, "Do I gotta pee or can it wait?" I decided to get up and pee whereupon I remembered I forgot to fill out the paperwork in anticipation of my urologist appointment. Went ahead and filled out the questionnaire, uploading my health insurance card, then went back to bed. All the while I made a point of avoiding looking at the clock, keeping my brain in a 'timeless' state to avoid wake-up stress, and just laid in bed until about six in the morning.
I hoped I would fall asleep again and dream again, but it wasn't in the cards.