6/23/2023

Dreamt that my friend Sarah asked if I would be up for a one-day trip to Florida because she was seeing a lawyer. "Sure" was my response but wound up never going. The rest of my dream concerned real estate in New York.

I have been dreaming more since the burn. On Tuesday while napping at work, I had very intense and fast-paced dreams before I succumbed to deep sleep.

The only self-help media with my undivided attention to is The Academic Imperfectionist with Rebecca Roache. I found out about her podcast at The Conversation except the story in question is lost to my memory and googling for it comes up with nothing.

The primary theme she promulgates via her podcast concerns being kinder to oneself. This involves "If you wouldn't talk to a friend in that tone of voice, don't use it towards yourself" and "Not every race needs to be a marathon". Regarding the latter, that means one doesn't have to go balls-out every time. In the context of writing it's okay to write a paragraph then pat yourself on the back for writing. But if you happen to bang out a 20 page story, or outline, that's just as good. Just don't pressure oneself to do that every time.

Ever since my burn, I've been working to be kinder to myself. Not to mention being more mindful of what I say, in private or in public. While driving home on Thursday I told myself, "Don't let those words come out of your mouth. Hold them in and let them go out your ass with the rest of your shit before flushing them away."

It's part of trying to better myself and be better towards myself. To retain something good from the burn rather than completely reverting to pre-burn me. I think tripping with someone else helped a lot. Tripping alone is fine but one can get lost in the process.