My site being wonky on mobile appears to be "just-one-of-those-things". Last night I checked my site on mobile (Android, Firefox) and it rendered how I wanted it to render! I don't recall tweaking anything. What a relief.
Tonight is my support group meeting. The foundation of my support group is communication and building trust. I've found it to be helpful despite meetings only happening once a month. Also happening this Saturday is my gaming night. It's just board, not role-playing, games and I still feel awkward among this crowd but I'm toughing it out because they used to do RPGs before the pandemic hit.
Work is fine. Not much to talk about in regards to that topic.
Right now I have anxiety that the world is ignoring me, or I have worn out my welcome with my online profligacy. That's a form of narcissism and not good for my mental health nor my relationships.
On the (re)inaugural post for my online journal, I shared an entry which didn't make prime time. To fill up space, I'm going to post another entry which didn't make prime time except I don't know when I wrote it to get an idea when I was going to post it here if I were to post it at all. I guess it was probably meant for sometime in 2011.
I take my shower. Lee's on the phone with her cousin. "I'm not having kids because of my age and I wouldn't have kids with him and you know why."
That really bothered me. She keeps pushing Cousin Dave as if he's going to be a friend like he's a friend to her. I overhear this shit and it hurts me like she does nothing but bitch and moan about me to him and they're on the same wavelength and he's totally behind her, shaking his head reflecting upon the awful mistake she made nearly two years ago. It's only fair since I have this site and I vent about her since venting to her means I never get to state my full thesis and instead she interrupts me and finishes my sentence. Of course the second part of the sentence is always perceived running perpendicular to my thesis. I know when I want to converse, I know when I want to give a monologue. If I was allowed more monologues without eyerolling and exasperated sighs, parallel to the perceived sighs given by me when a task is demanded of my person, reckon I'd be more inclined to converse instead of unleashing a flood of words that have built up to a breaking point where they must get out.
At least I can't be interrupted on heptapod.org.
Yet.
It's about my comfort.
Oh boy, here's another potential entry for the old journal which never went live.
I like amateur stuff. Heck, I am an amateur.
DeviantArt is a site full of amateurs displaying their work. More power to them because they're getting the same release I get from updating my shitty website. Reckon when people look at their art, those people are thinking "They suck" but the meaning is "I could do that better".
Sometimes I fear doing this because I admonish myself for plagiarizing stuff. On the other hand I'm turning it into something new. Like iron into steel and steel into a knife and therefore your wallet (pointing). More positively this is a homage to the original creator. An inadvertant muse.
The internet is a tool. A tool that extracts information. It's up to the human brain to synthesize it into something unique and creative.
The way the internet is being used nowadays, I should know because I do it, is backwards. The computer is Television 2.0, moreso with the advent of YouTube. Only that two-way communication is possible, and encouraged, with computers. Smartphones are a nice idea but as a companion as one ventures blinking into the hard glare of the daystar rather than being the focus of one's life.
