10/19/2021

My living situation is bearable, but I do not want this for the rest of my life. My industry is real estate, I'm doing title searches, but I'm not making enough to have a decent life in New Jersey. Maybe if I was in a shithole southern state like Alabama or Mississippi with my current salary it'd be another story.
I've been looking at different avenues to making more money in real estate. I asked some title searchers about those opportunities but it always comes down to being content with their job. Not surprising since many of these people have been title searching since they were sixteen years old. At their age, between 40 and 60, they're already making a fine salary and see no reason to shake things up. Others would say it's risky. When I asked my co-worker in the other county about these opportunities, she was very dismissive and lamented how if these opportunities were worth a damn then why isn't here a high turnover among title searchers?
Last night that conversation, and a few others, ran through my mind while driving back on the Garden State Parkway and it hit me. They're crabs in a bucket, and they're trying to keep me from leaving the bucket. Not maliciously. I'm going to figure out what I'm going to do, and right now I know about an opportunity which doesn't require me to be handy nor really interact with other people. Plus human interaction may very well be minimal which is a bonus for me.

I am looking forward to this weekend. Looks like I'll be getting out for a little bit which means I'll have to do all my writing ahead of time so I won't feel hassled or stressed.

ticks

When I first arrived in Neptune, NJ I had developed a tick. My eye would twitch all day. The last time I remember having this tick was sometime in the early to mid-1990s. My biological father was away on vacation and he had my sister running the business. I stopped by the shop to see her and she went on about how one of my biological father's employees was giving her shit and disrespecting her. Being younger and with a shorter fuse, I became upset by the news. My sister was worried and remarked that my eye was twitching. I grabbed this shillelagh in the umbrella stand and began muttering about how I was going to cave in that employee's head.

tl;dr: I get an eye twitch when I'm very stressed.

Just the other day I discovered that it had stopped. I hope it means something positive, rather than simply getting used to my current lot in life.