5/20/2022

I am very scattered in the head right now. At least I hope I am just scattered. While peforming title searches I've been catching myself in mistakes, often instances of dyscalcula, and some where I conflate different instruments, names, or books/pages. This is disturbing me because my brain is screaming, "You're undergoing mental declne. The one good thing about being you is wasting away!" Then I went ahead and tweeted this: The worst part about losing one's mind is you don't realize it's going until it's too late.

So am I losing my mind? Am I aware of it? Or am I overthinking things?

Texted my friend in Matawan yesterday and it was rambly. Their response was kind and generous. When I texted my therapist, she said I need to slow down and breathe because I'm overthinking things.

I guess I oughta.

Now I am addled because I spoke with my friend in Egg Harbor City, got an earful of complaints and they weren't listening to me. Told them to go eat something and calm down. I think I'm done for the night.

I hate this new person I've become and want the old strengths to come back.

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